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In an elephant`s school, some loafer elephants were hanging around in the canteen. A sexy female elephant passes by the canteen. One of the elephants says: `Look guys, 3600 - 2400 - 3600!`
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Santa: Are you chewing gum?
Banta: No, I'm Banta.
Banta: No, I'm Banta.
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Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well-preserved he appeared.
"I will tell you the secret of my success," he cackled.
"My wife and I were married 75 years ago. On our wedding night, we made a solemn pledge. Whenever we had a fight, the one who was proved wrong would go outside and take a walk.
"Gentlemen, I have been walking in the open air day after day for some 75 years now."
"I will tell you the secret of my success," he cackled.
"My wife and I were married 75 years ago. On our wedding night, we made a solemn pledge. Whenever we had a fight, the one who was proved wrong would go outside and take a walk.
"Gentlemen, I have been walking in the open air day after day for some 75 years now."
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Agar manzil ko pana hai to himat saath rakhna,
Agar pyar ko pana hai to aitbar saath rakhna,
Agar hamesha muskurana ho to BRUSH AUR PASTE SAATH RAKHNA.
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A drunk walked into a bar crying. One of the other men in the bar asked him what happened.
"I did a terrible thing," sniffed the drunk, "Just a few hours ago I sold my wife to someone for a bottle of Champagne."
"That is awful," said the other guy, "And now that she is gone you want her back right?"
"Right!" said the drunk, still crying.
"You're sorry you sold her because you realised, too late, that you still loved her, right?"
"Oh, No," said the drunk. I want her back because I'm thirsty again!"
"I did a terrible thing," sniffed the drunk, "Just a few hours ago I sold my wife to someone for a bottle of Champagne."
"That is awful," said the other guy, "And now that she is gone you want her back right?"
"Right!" said the drunk, still crying.
"You're sorry you sold her because you realised, too late, that you still loved her, right?"
"Oh, No," said the drunk. I want her back because I'm thirsty again!"
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Ae dost tu mat ho udaas,
Saans meri chute na chute tra saath.
Phir bhi agar tujhe aaye meri yaad,
toh mujhe call kar lena,
meri INCOMING BILKUL FREE HAIN..!!
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At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness.
"Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?"
The witness stared out the window as though he hadn't hear the question.
"Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated.
The witness still did not respond.
Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the question."
Oh," the startled witness said, "I thought he was talking to you."
"Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?"
The witness stared out the window as though he hadn't hear the question.
"Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated.
The witness still did not respond.
Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the question."
Oh," the startled witness said, "I thought he was talking to you."
